Hi, my name’s Jacqui Alder, and I’m the creator of Bitch In The City.
At the time of writing this post, the blog has been going for 18 months, so I thought it was about time we had a chat and I introduce myself properly. I also wanted to share with you the story behind why I write Bitch In The City, and show you how to use the site, as I’ve made some changes.
If you’ve read the About Jacqui page, you already know some ‘official’ things about me. What else would you like to know?
I currently live in Perth, Western Australia, which is known for hot sunny weather. Not today though; the rain is playing drums on the roof of my house, and the sun is cloaked in a wintry grey woollen blanket. In Perth, we have great beaches so, when the weather permits, I spend as much time as I can in the water or with sand between my toes.
My weakness is chocolate; I eat it every day, and have done so for as long as I can remember. Don’t worry, I eat dark chocolate, which is healthy – isn’t it?
On the flip-side, sport isn’t my favourite thing. Maybe because I’m awful at most sports, I have two left feet, and both of those are large! However, I’m pretty good at riding a bicycle … if it’s mounted on a stand in a gym.
The best lessons I’ve learned came when life threw me a few curve-balls – all at once. This experience taught me what’s important to me and changed how I approach life; including where I focus my energy. I got wiser as a result, and now I do my best to keep getting wiser every day.
I now work with other women to help them succeed on their own terms. I’ve found that the lessons I’ve learned from forging a career in male dominated industries, plus those from the curve-ball period, help me to support the women I work with.
As part this work, I’ve recently created a self-coaching journal designed specifically for women. It’s like having a coach in your handbag, and walks you through the process I use with my clients. It’s also a beautifully illustrated piece of stationery. If you want to find out more about the journal Contact me, or head over to my professional web site to have a look.
Okay, that’s enough about me, I promised to tell you the story behind Bitch In The City. It started several years ago, I was at work when a colleague telephoned me. After we finished discussing business, she started telling me about problems she was having with another female colleague.
‘And then Eve told me what she’s been saying about me. Huh! I couldn’t believe it!’
I swapped the phone over to my other ear, ‘Oh, what’d she say?’
‘It’s gonna sound lame but … ah … she said, if I was as mean to my children as I was to her they’d call the authorities. She’s been telling everyone what a nasty bitch I am.’
I couldn’t tell if she was angry or about to cry, ‘Oh?’
‘She’s always hovering around, listening to my conversations, like some sort of undercover cop. All I did was say hello. The way she looked at me, I thought I had something embarrassing on my face, you know, like snot or something!’
We simultaneously burst into laughter. It all sounded so silly. Abruptly, my friend stopped laughing. ‘My husband doesn’t get why I’m so stressed. I haven’t even told him that I’m too scared to speak to her. I feel so powerless.’
To help her, I shared some similar experiences I’d had, and what I’d learned.
‘You should write a book about this stuff,’ she joked.
I laughed. ‘Yeah, but what would I call it … Bitch In The City?’
At that moment, I decided I would hold onto the idea and have a go at writing Bitch In The City the book … someday when I had the time.
As for my friend, this was the first of many conversations we had about the situation. Things escalated and got really serious. All these years later she’s still emotionally scarred by her experience. Seeing this happen to someone I care about helped me to keep to the Bitch In The City idea alive. It also gave me the courage to overcome my fear of being criticised for writing about the subject.
Because I wanted to write something practical, helpful, and easily accessible, I decided to write this blog instead of a writing book.
In these pages, I shine a light on the different faces of bitchiness, what triggers it, how to respond constructively, and how to stop yourself from going there.
To help you get the most out of the site here’s how it works. There are three sections:
- Amelia’s Story: This is a fictional story where the main character is Amelia Hawkins. The story follows Amelia as she joins Global Corporation, gets promoted, and deals with challenging behaviour from female colleagues. She also has to work through her relationship with her husband, Richard, who has a career as a lawyer.You can access Amelia’s Story through the tab, or by clicking on the relevant chapter from the Categories list on right of the home page.If you’d like to find out more about Amelia’s life before she walked onto the pages of the Bitch In The City story, pop over to the About Amelia.
- Articles: These are practical self-help articles which are based upon a combination of my own experience and research. I cover themes such as: Dealing With Bitchiness, Managing Yourself, Working With Women, and Leading Women. You can access Articles through the tab, or by selecting the relevant topic from the Categories list on right of the home page.
- Jacqui’s Juice: In this section, I share more of the back-story to Bitch In The City, and respond to reader questions and requests. This is a new section, so I’ll start posting articles here soon.
This blog is a labour of love. I write it for you, and for my friend whose experience sparked the idea.
Your participation will help me make it as relevant as I can. Please comment, ask questions, or share your thoughts and experiences. If you need to do any of these confidentially, or to reach out for help, you can contact me directly by filling in the form on the Contact page. I’ll get back to you as quickly as I can.
Thanks again for visiting Bitch In The City.
I sincerely hope this blog helps you or someone you know.